unwritten

I've written this post 14 times but each time it wasn't good enough.
Even now i'm looking at the backspace button. 

I wish I could step out onto this stage and look everyone straight in the eye.
I wish you wouldn't see my shaking knees and hear my voice crack.
I wish you all wouldn't know I was scared.

but I am.

introduce yourself

hi. i'm scared.

i'm not here for fresh pressed paper, clean lines, no eraser marks. i'm here for that paper you folded up and put in your back pack and then forgot about, because that's the one that matters. that's the one that's real.
 I'm here for dragging out the truth, prying it out so I can see what it is because even I don't know.

I am the 4 drafts I wrote halfway and then didn't publish. They weren't right. I don't know if anything will be.
I am the way I feel when I wake up in the morning after sleeping in. The good kind of sleeping in. Where the breeze and the light filter through the curtains and nothing can go wrong if you just stay there a little longer.
I am the laugh you make when nobody is around.
I am Annelies Marie.
I have a story.
I'll tell  you about it when I figure it out.